Westwood Wolverines 2006

Player Bios

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Defense

 
Captain Ryan Gold (6) - Big, physical, and tough, Ryan is the cornerstone of the Westwood Defense. When it was time to vote on captains towards the end of last season, Gold acheived a unanimous vote for captain. A superb leader, he is able to inspire his teammates to work just as hard as he does in practice and on the field. Few teams in the TVL would dare to run up the middle against the middle linebacker who benches no less than 300 pounds. For some, it is terrifying just to hear him yell, "TEN JUMPING JACKS" during warm-ups. Ryan is the kind of person that one is just glad to have on his side.
 
 
Captain Kevin O'Connor (88) - Along with Ryan Gold and Brian Kelly, Kevin is a captain of the Westwood football team. Easily one of the tallest, fastest, and strongest kids on the team, he is a well-rounded athlete. Also the senior class president, Okie displays his courage and prowess in the classroom as well as in the huddle. Kevin is quite a handful for any offensive tackle in the league. If you are strong, he will rush off the end and disrupt the backfield quickly. If you are fast, he will get by you through pure force. Kev is watched by quarterbacks and punters around the league, as more than once they have felt his wrath through painful sacks and blocked punts. Kevin is another cornerstone of the Westwood defense, which has only allowed 9.8 points per game through 4 games.
 
 
Brian McDonald (60) - Parallel to Kevin at DE is Brian McDonald. BMac is strong but silent, and would rather speak with his actions on the field. When teams double team Okie, BMac is sure to wreak havoc on running backs behind the line of scrimmage. The tandem of Okie and BMac forces offenses without decent tackles to keep tight ends or blockers in the backfield, making the secondary's job a lot easier. Missing last year's season due to a broken leg, Brian returns this year after long workouts and rehabilitation to become a greater force in the inpenetrable Westwood D.
 
 
Nick Sestito (2) - Short and Stout, one might normally expect Tito to be a cornerback instead of a linebacker. In fact, he once was a decent corner, until one fateful day. Already disliked by then DB coach Coach Ferguson, he dived for the ball instead of the receiver in a JV game, allowing the player to score. He never took the field again as a defensive back again. Reports indicate that his name was dead last on the depth chart, below even the freshmen. In training camp this year, Nick has finally found his niche. He goes to prove that size doesnt matter in football, its heart that counts. Sestito may not be big like Ryan Gold, but he plays physically and fills the right holes at the right time. Running backs everywhere are confunded as they cant see the guy that tackled them on a run up the middle.
 
 
Kevin Morrison (75) - This 300 pound nose tackle for the Wolverines is the epitomy of the word, "beast." Teammates refer to him as the "Night Train," not because of racial prejudice, but rather due to his silent assassin type tackles. Teams don't prepare for him in their gameplan, but immediately regret it afterwards. Running backs don't even know what hit them until K-Mo's immense mass is removed from their flailing bodies on the ground. However, Westwood frequently runs a 4-4 defense, in which Kevin is forced to sit out. Always a fan favorite, one loud cheer from the den can only mean one thing: here comes the Night Train.
 
 
Matthew White (22) - Matt has been Coach Hallion's prodigy student since freshman year. With countless years of Pop Warner experience under his belt, (a figurative belt, it is common belief that he does not own any belts.) Whitey has been through more grueling hours of double sessions than most of us have lived. In freshman year, his talents were quickly recognized and got playing time on the varsity level along with such characters as Amadeus Guerrero and Jason Urdang. In fact, he amazingly skipped JV time altogether. This year, Matthew becomes a key player in Hallion's complicated defensive scheme, as his speed can be utilized to blitz unsuspecting quarterbacks.
 
 
Nick Laham (52) - Nick is the brother of the legend himself, Chris Laham, so naturally we know the same fantastic blood runs through his veins. Nick has been compared to the likeness of a bear, with abnormal growth for his age and full grown facial hair that grown men only wish they had. Be careful when you line up against Bear, for there is a certain danger you may get mauled. The injury-prone Laham also punts and kicks for Westwood, often pinning offenses deep in their own territory.
 
 
Matt Shanahan (41) - Matt is a lovable, kindhearted person who also causes pain and suffering to offenses. When he bounces his head from left to right, he looks like a friendly jack-in-the-box. However this jack is less than friendly, like the ones in the horror movies where it pops up with a mean grin with an axe and murders your children in their sleep. That only happens to opponents, though. In practice, and in the locker room, anyone can get along with Shanny; people can disregard his history and what he does on weekends. Allegations in the past have arisen over whether or not he actually has syphyllis, and over whether or not he enjoys the company of men. But they were all in good fun. (or were they?) Shanahan starts at outside linebacker for the Wolverines, on a manhunt for quarterbacks and their families.
 
 
Andrew Mellor (55) - Andrew is frequently refered to as "Goose" for God knows what reason. Teammates also use Spanish to mess with him, for a reason beyond comprehension. "Me llamo Goose, me gusta flocking" - Tito. "Me llamo Goose, me gusta mating con otros geese." - Kevin O'Connor. "Me llamo Goose, me gusta Indian chicks." So what does all this mean? If you're wondering this, so is Mellor. Just a few thoughts in his brain: What are they saying? Why are they laughing? Who is this "Goose" character? Mell may be out of it sometimes, but on the field he gets his wits together. An expert linebacker, he was largely responsible for Westwood's plogging of Norton's star running back John Norcott in Week 5. He is not afraid of hitting and shows no trepidation or recognition towards anyone. Let's hope he remembers the way back to the locker room.
 
 
John McDonough (62) - Usually, John is kept on the bus until after warmups, because his presence on the field will allow little to no room for anyone else. If there was anyone who ever listened to Coach Schotland's speech abouting eating, it would be Douna. Behind that gigantic weight, however, lies a sense of humor essential to team entertainment. His trademark "WAAAAAA-HOOOOOOO" and hilarious facebook groups only trim the waters of John's deep shark tank of jokes. You can always find him in a good mood, even when its entirely unnecesary. You could be in the most important game of your life and you're walking up to the line and you hear someone whisper something so stupid like "Im Rich, Bitch," or "Shuutttyo face," you would know that person is McDonough. He starts at Offensive Guard and Defensive Tackle for Westwood this year.
 
 
Ryan Walsh (21) - Walshy is the younger brother of Westwood's speedy back Connor Walsh. Ryan was blessed with good looks, even more so than his brother. From the first day of practice, he was beloved by all the seniors as if he were a pet iguana. His prowess on Kickoff and Punt earned him the nickname "CREETCH" later turned "SCREETCH." From Wikipedia, the term "creature" is a colloquil word for "animal" or sometimes "monster." It also refers to a legendary thing that is created by a creator diety. The more you think about it, the more Creech satisfies these conditions. Truly, he is created by a higher being, set loose to wreak havoc on anyone he meets. In two years, his name will be feared around the league as the Legendary Wildebeast of the Woods in the West. He even has a play named after him now (the punt block). When asked by Coach Hallion whether or not the name offends him, he did nought but make creature sounds. Seniors keep asking him to do something to which he flatly replies: "no"; I am still waiting to see what that is. Ryan is also a diehard Lost fan, so diehard that he once sent a foolish, foolish man to the General Hospital after being told that Sawyer was gay. The man lies in a vegetative state and will likely never be able to poop properly again. Lawful action is unable to be taken because assault is defined as "a crime of violence against a fellow human being." Creech may be a creech but he has a good soul and is a good friend. His monstrocity will be vital to the Wolverine's D next year.
 
 
Tom O'Connor (24) - Starting at cornerback as a junior last year, Tom proved to coaches that his talents are indispensable. A quick decision maker, Okie will without a doubt get to the ball in a split second. It is when he gets there that is the problem. Tom must have some Rosenberg blood in him, because a football is made out of pigskin. His apparent repulsion to catching the football can't be helped, so lets all have some toleration. Westwood may seem like a racist town, but we are all good people on the inside. I mean, the KKK passed out those flyers all over Massachusetts, right? Not just ours? And some people applied for membership, only as a joke, right? Tom will play out his last year at Westwood High at cornerback and starts in doubles.
 
Jay Whalen (56) - Jay is, well, quite large (6'2", 250lbs by special request), and anchors the offensive line. Although he may look as mobile as your average living room sofa, THIS beautiful vinyl couch has wheels and WILL flatten you should you overlook him. Sure, the mouths we used for CPR last year may resemble his, but Jay has a heart of gold. Always wanting to help, his eagerness to make friends compares to his thirst for human blood. Marked on Coach Schotland's Special Teams depth chart as "Weylan," his good humor is lifting to everyone in Westwood's locker room, which is teeming with gays. Watch out, JV quarterbacks, for once "Weylan" hits you, you may realize too late that you might never be able to acheive your dream of playing Varsity quarterback when you find yourself staring up at a hospital ceiling.
 
Brian Bart (44) - If there was only one thing in the world that resembled Bart, I would have to say, the condensed metal ball that is used to demolish buildings with. Behind every tackle that he makes is the force of a small tractor trailer. Seeing Bart play, you get under the impression that there is a god controlling him who uses the hit stick relentlessly and uncontrollably. Here is the leader of the next generation who inherits the name of Westwood's inpenetrable defense. There is not much else to say, except that his name will incite feelings of dread within the Tri-Valley League. (well, not quite. Bart. ahaahahahaha) Seriously, Brian is not someone to mess with.
 
Matt Springer (50) - Oh, I'm going to enjoy writing this one. Springer is symbolic of a straight man stepping into the closet. Blantant acts of gayness are not beyond his ethics, however; we are assured that he is absolutely not a fan of the men. But, no matter his orientation, he still, and will always, own at life. He is the only other kid on the team who takes the same brutal schedule that I am, i.e. AP Physics, AP US History, Lv.1 Pre-Calc, and Accelerated Death by Mrs. Kelsch. The diference between us is that he starts, whereas I am nowhere near playing anytime before the last 3 seconds of the fourth quarter. On defense, he is a solid outside linebacker, reminiscent of Mike Vrabel (but maybe its just because of the jersey number.) On offense, he plays guard despite his lack of fat necesary for lineman. Honor and glory of scoring touchdowns is probably not in store for him, but he is happy to be able to make a difference and fight for those who will. No matter how hard any of you try, you will never make it further in life than Matthew. Blessed with the ability to sleep in class and still be able to attain the highest average in any class, his intelligence, sense of humor, and work ethic will take him to boundaries no man has dared to pass. Im not just saying this to make him feel good, I seriously believe this. Matt will start on Varsity as offensive guard next year.
 
Greg Niles (66) - After Kevin Morrison graduates this year, Nilez will be the second coming of the Midnight Train. Again, let me emphasize that this name is NOT given because of racial differences. Greg possesses the size, strength, and agility that is needed to fill the important role of nose tackle. A resident of Dorchester, he shows extraordinary commitment to Westwood and its football team. A friend once told me that the big teddy bear seems to have a lot of common sense, or "street smarts." No one should ever dislike Greg, aka BIG CRUSH on myspace, because his warm and loving arms can accept anything. Stow your hatred away in your back pocket in front of Niles, this big 250 lb. lineman won't stand for it.
 
Jake Mahoney (31) - Jake is "that kid." You know "that kid." The one who does inappropriate things at inappropriate times. You may know him better as the crazy driver doing 80 mph in an elementary school zone, or the guy who holds up the McDonald's drive-through line by ordering two "2 apple pies" then heckling the poor employee about getting 4 apple pies. You may also find him starting conversations about Nazi Germany at a Jewish wedding, or commenting on the attractiveness of middle school girls. All this, however, says nothing of his character except that he lives life to the fullest. In life, he is actually very polite and friendly. On the Wolverine defense, his presence is envigorating. When Jake subs in at defensive end, it is like witnessing the return of a prophet, or the rebirth of a saint. Securing the title of "Official One-Two-Three Wolverines Breaker-Downer," he is fully prepared for the task with a loud, clear voice. Mahoney looks to transcend more boundaries on Varsity next year.
 
Jimmy Filbin (59) -
 
Still to come:
Tom MacCualey (32) -
Brian Peterson (80) -
John Cuozzo (27) -
Paul Murphy (79) -
Brian O'Connor (42) -
 

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