"Ryan, you're off the team!....the special team!" - Coach Schotland
"I DONT WANT PLANES FLYING OVER MY PRACTICE!!!" - Coach Hallion, at a commercial airline.
"Very helpful." - Coach Seamus, during a drill in which a ball thrown back to him sailed into the woods
"I think you should buy your freshman team a ten-pack of tamp-ons" - Coach Hallion, commenting on the injury-prone freshman squad
"What dont real men do? Touch the football." - Coach Bateman
"He couldn't have caught that pass if he were 6'8, and had a 60 inch vertical." - Coach Pizo, commenting on OB's left handed throw in practice.
"Is Mickey Mouse a dog or a cat?" - Coach Schotland
"Grid it up." - Coach Dolleman
"We'll do a 20*20 box today." - Coach Dolleman
"Suicides. Yes!!!" - Coach Dolleman
"WE are fat lineman." - Dolleman
"I actually had to teach some classes today. Yeah, I know, crazy." - Coach Hallion
"I've got my classes all lined up for the week. First class: What is history. Second Class: Why do we study history. Today: Why did the dinosaurs die?" - Coach Schotland
The Infamous John Brown Story:
"Back when I was in college there was this guy across from me called John Brown. He was a year ahead of me, and he started. When he played center, i would be in front of him on show-o. Every season I would get these same bruises on my biceps from his punches on the same spot every time. In practice, we both made each other better. When he graduated, he went to the war in Iraq. And to this day i like to think we're still friends." - Coach Schotland, delaying JV practice for another 20 minutes.
"Get out. OB, out!" - Coach Paul Lilla
"OUT!" - Paul
"Whitey, NO. OUT!" - Paul
"SPIES!!!!" - Coach Hallion, at a scout during practice
"SWEET MOLASSES, thats no help" - Coach Schotland, during a drill when trying to use Manny as an example, realizing that his jersey only had one digit and no inside/outside numbers he wanted.
"You guys look like a Chinese Fire Drill, no offense to the Chinese." - Coach Schotland
"You guys look like a Chinese Fire Drill." - retired Coach Burke
"WHY ARE WE WALKING?" - Coach Von Euw
"I need to drug test my whole linebacker squad." - Coach Hallion
"OB, can you eat 3 sugar cubes in a minute?" - Hallion
"If you need to burn leaves in your mouth for fun there's problems" - Schotland
"There have been allegations of doping." - Schotland, after the junior squad beat the sophomore squad in a relay race
"I hate that play. You can't thow the ball through a lineman." - Hallion
"You need to get off the couch. Put down the oreos. Put down the remote. Put down the soda. *pause* You need to put down the doritos." - Schotland
"Sometimes you do have to do pushups for a horrendous performance." - Coach Seamus, at me.
"DID YOU JUST DROP TO THE GROUND AFTER THAT HITCH." - Coach Seamus
"Give me 20 big ones for that atrocity." - Coach Seamus
"PUSHUPS LETS GO DOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWN." - Coach Seamus
"What the hell was that." - Coach Seamus
"ABLAHSGGABHAHBHAGHBH, I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT. AHRGAHBHBAHA." - Hallion
"Don't you hate it when they put TWO covers on your iced coffee?" - Coach Pindell, spilling iced coffee on the grass.
"It's not about the x's and o's. It's about the Jimmy's and Joe's" - Schotland
"You gotta come off the bus ready to play." - Schotland
"Don't play with your mouth, and say "raaahhaghaga ima kick this kid in the fruckin dicccck." - Schotland
"Yeah, well you dont have to be such a JERK about it." - in a menacing tone, Coach Mehigan, at Max
"Thank you for wasting 10 minutes." - Coach Seamus
"Im wearing shorts big cat." - Coach Schotland, after OB's futile attempt to pants him.
"JESUS H. HIPPOPOTAMAUS." - Coach Schotland
"All the x's and o's don't amount to a hill of beans." - Coach Schotland
"Ya I'm high. High on life baby!" - Coach Hallion
"[Inappropriate high school story]" - Coach Pindell
"Look at that right guard's ASS." - Coach Schotland
"WHAT are you DOING???" - Coach Shamus
"First you mess up the drill, then you walk back to the line?" - Coach Shamus

I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives all comes down to today. Either we heal as a team or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch, play by play, till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen. believe me. And we can stay here and get the shit kicked out of us or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell. One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you. I'm too old. I look around and I see these young faces
and I think...I mean...I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who has ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life things get taken from you. That's, that's part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out that life is just a game of inches. So is football. Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean one half step too late or too early you don't quite make it. One half second too slow or too fast and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch. Cause we know when we add up all those inches that's going to make the fucking difference between WINNING and LOSING. between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this. in any fight it is the guy who is willing to die who is going to win that inch. And I know if I am going to have any life anymore it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch because that is what LIVING is. The six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You gotta look at the guy next to you. Look into his eyes. Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. You are going to see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it, you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen. and either we heal now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys. That's all it is. Now, whattaya gonna do?

- Al Pacino, Any Given Sunday